Replace the hashtag name with any other previous name that would remind you of the same life lesson and cause you to respond when you hear it.

Painful, yes.

Alarmed, surprised, or fearful, certainly not. 

Progress, yes. 

Victory, maybe.  

Days after May 25, 2020 have been an incredibly difficult time for some and awakening for others around the world and mostly in the United States. The protests were powerful and inspiring, while the violence was disheartening. There should be no place in this world for racial injustice, so it is time (again) to come together to transform the disorder into a more equitable and fair society. 

As an optimist, I start with myself by following the platinum rule; treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. My primary core value is love and that is defined by how I view you. If I view you as the valuable person you are, it would be demonstrated in my actions. 

As a Black woman, I can’t speak for everyone with dark skin, but I believe a major step towards greater victory begins with staying strong, resilient, and treating EVERY member of our communities with respect and dignity. What a lovely world this could be if a hashtag carried life lessons.

Common Courtesy

I think this is equivalent to common sense, neither are common.

Let’s pretend we do want to exhibit common courtesy, what would that look like to you in April 2020?

  1. Stay home unless you absolutely have to go out.
  2. Wash your hands.
  3. Mind your business.
  4. Do your homework.
  5. Help out where you can.
  6. Don’t get on anyone’s nerves.
  7. If you are out, give people their space.
  8. Cover your mouth!
  9. Better yet, shut your mouth.
  10. Share funny tasteful things on social media– we need it.

Social Media

Facebook made me really dislike them after the 2016 election meddling and false published narratives. I decided to abandon all social media at some point. All except, WhatsApp, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter … so maybe I didn’t actually abandon it. Better yet, I decided to limit my social media use.

You probably could tell from this blog site and posts that I’d already given up blogging. That’s okay, the more I hone or rehash my skills- the better I’ll become.

My current husband is from a different country and one significant difference in our cultures is how married people use or SHOULD use social media. We’ve been separated for a long period of time waiting for a US visa. He hasn’t had any presence on social media since the day we were married.

Our visa approval has been under administrative processing for as long as I care to say, however during COVID-19, the consulate found time to refuse our request for a second time. Talking about being under pressure- whew!

I learned when a married couple (according to him) is separated (for any reason) need to monitor their behavior and representation. That means they are apart from each other, the other should behave themselves with more caution than they would if together. And limiting your presence on social media is the one way I want to address especially since I learned he now has an IG account. (Where’s an emoji when you need one?)

I have to follow the algorithm outlined in Personal Pandemic.

Personal Pandemic

During these days of COVID-19, many of us are reflecting on so many things. Reflecting, for some, can move into the area of worrying. When my thoughts moved to what I call worry, it made me think about the past days of struggling when worry used to be a constant guest in my mind.

Practically raising 3 children alone for most of their lives, I found myself in situations that felt what some people might experience in March or April 2020. due to the pandemic. Remembering days when I didn’t think I could make it emotionally, mentally, financially, or spiritually- it has given me a sense of confidence and encouragement that I will also survive this.

What’s happening as I write this is surreal and magnified worldwide. But when I faced dark days of loneliness and fear, the world in itself couldn’t relate. Even when the world can relate to some of what we experience as a whole, it is simply not the same when it’s your children, your parents, your job, your spouse, your health, your grief, your hunger, your bills, your divorce or wherever your circumstance finds you. It is NOT the same. We all handle adversity differently, this post is how Just Kissie found a way through some by 3 simple techniques:

  1. Pause – take time before you think, study, and plan your next steps to achieve success.
  2. Pray – my grandfather gave me this advice many years ago before my pending divorce. He told me there are 3 things to do when I face uncertainties and because he was such a wise man, I gave full attention to the words I thought my heart was yearning for. He told me the first thing I should do is pray, and in my mind, I was thinking, “Check, what’s next?!” He went on to tell me the next thing to do was to pray and when I finished that- pray again. It’s funny and not the type of advice you want when hardship is at your door. But, it is the advice that will bring you peace and open to peaceful guidance.
  3. Push – keep going. Every heartache and heartbreak got easier to deal with by living. I had to keep going. Some days were still hard, but they got better and I got stronger by pushing through because I wanted it all behind me.

I’m done for now, but let me leave you with this.

‘We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We often don’t know what to do, but we don’t give up. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. ‘ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Administrative Processing: Start where you are.

Start where you are.

It’s been said that when you lose something, you always find it in the last place you look. Obviously, but funny. Today I feel as though I found my solution at the end of my problem. You know how things just seem to CLICK. Things that have been there all along seem to appear out of nowhere. Why does it take us so long to realize what’s so simple?

As I write this, I cannot help by smile and laugh – probably because I know I’m not alone and that makes me feel human and relatable.

I was washing my dishes and listening to an audiobook when I remembered I hadn’t yet done the things I know have been in my heart and on my mind to do. Yet, I constantly pray and ask God to do His part while refusing to do mine.

I’m praying for a visa and praying that God will save and protect my marriage by allowing us to reunite quickly. Months ago, I felt in my spirit that since I married a man younger than me that I need to take care of my health and body to enjoy a longer life with him. I lied and said I would do just that – get my body in shape and make healthier choices daily. Instead, I dabbled in fads and made excuses or plain ignored what I should do and surrendered to laziness.

I also knew that what I’m experiencing now due to this visa delay, many others are tackling the same problem but without the joy I have inside. So, I decided to encourage all who care to hear and want to grow through this season of life. I won’t keep my deliverance and joy to myself. I’m full. I’m married to a Moroccan and all they do (from what I’ve witnessed) is share! In keeping with that custom, I’ll do the same.

Finally, I think because I’ve been so bored and frustrated in waiting and the enemy of my soul couldn’t attack me in too many ways – I’ve been loose in my spending habits. Spending very unnecessarily. I’m done with promising God, my children, and myself that this is the last month I will be wasteful. I have enough perfume, sneakers, gadgets, books, music, purses, and athletic wear. The line is drawn.

What have you been commissioned to do while you wait on what you’ve been praying for? How long will you wait to do what you should while you wait? As much as I don’t want to prolong my blessing and deliverance, I don’t want to prolong the things I need to do. I’ve started. And I’ve taken away your excuse. Follow my example, don’t put it off. Let’s go!

Administrative Processing: Frustration


Yep, that’s what I’m going through right now. Administrative Processing.

I would tell you more about it if I knew more about it. I’ve searched and searched, but not getting the answers I want.  Notice I didn’t say I wasn’t getting any answers.  That’s how it is in life. We’d rather be frustrated than chill when we don’t have what we want. And what we want is NOW. No matter what it is that we want – we want it now.

I plan to tell you more about Administrative Processing in layman’s terms primarily later because I’m still learning. So, I’ll dissect it enough to comprehend and relay. This gives me the opportunity to help the next person or people that have to deal with this or any delay as well as distract me from the frustration of it all.

What I can tell you now is it’s time for your girl to walk the walk she’s been talking all these years. Ready to watch me? I’m ready to show you how to handle your frustrations in a healthy way.